As I sit here now, I am reflecting on the events of your life so far. All the friends you made and lost. You’re known by your family for your pessimistic attitude, because you think you don’t believe you belong, you don’t believe that you have the skills to successfully complete university and stand out in a world, almost as if you’re a grey spec in a colourful rainbow. I can’t help but think of the future you, I hope you will come to believe that everything you want is possible if you really want it and try hard enough.
I hope your future is as fun-filled and positive as you anticipate to make it, by trying to fill it with as many fulfilling moments as possible and take every opportunity you can get your hands on.
My future ambitions are that you never lose the skills you’ve gained over the years. Everything you worked so hard for has to be worth remembering. Keep the French language going, top up your Excel and database skills because you never know when you will need it. I hope that I will prove myself useful with some volunteer work and perhaps learn some first aid? Although the time you looked after Alex, when that car hit him, proves those years of watching Traffic Cops, Emergency Bikers and Helicopter Heroes actually helped. It kind of sounds like I need to get a life.
Don’t forget that you have come far, maybe not as far as you’d like, but you are halfway along the yellow brick road. The first secondary school might have been a mistake (mostly). In fact, if you’re not arguing with someone then you are arguing with yourself. You and yourself seem to be always disagreeing. I find myself constantly asking questions, will I be any good at Photography at a University level? Will I make any close friends? What will happen to my other friendships? But sometimes I just have to remember that I moved school to study it, that I was told I had an eye for it.
I also wonder if you will successfully achieve a functional friendship with your tutors? Instead of arguing with them because you’re far too excited by your own ideas and want to guard them. Listen more; this is a skill you need if you still want to be a teacher or a PA?
Still, try not to panic so much about that. Instead I want to think of the future of you. I want you (I am willing you) to complete and accomplish this list.
- Enjoy yourself; enjoy your youth like every adult keeps telling you to.
- Try try try to be more positive!
- Make the most out of your new environment.
- Make friends out of your classmates, flatmates and tutors instead of writing people off.
- Remember what made you, you. Your friends, your family and your old lifestyle.
- Don’t keep in contact with the people that wasted your time, because then you are wasting your own time.
You’ve been through your fair share. Yes, you’ve had a privileged life, grown up a sort of farmers but you’ve also been shaped by various misfortunes in life and that’s the best lesson in life. I’ve had hard times, being betrayed by your friend and the very people who are trusted to care for is never easy to forget or forgive. But if they we’re your friends, they wouldn’t have let you reach the lows that you did. I never want you to feel that soul sinking feeling again. I want you to feel complete and to help others feel that way too.